About me
I have been thinking about it for quite some time and maybe it would be useful to tell you something about me – in case you are wondering what sort of a guy is preaching to you here. What are my credentials, so to speak.
I’m not a monk, I have never had a Ferrari to sell. I didn’t start a billion-dollar business every three months. But I have found the secret anyway. A path to happiness and peace. All I ever had was curiosity. Curiosity is an interesting thing. The insatiable drive to know. That’s the force that was driving me forward most of my life. No question is so small that I didn’t want to know the answer.
I was lazy, dumb, and borderline arrogant. Always the outsider. That “different” guy. A nerd. I was not a spiritual guy. In fact, I would say I was quite radically atheistic. But I have read a lot of books, gained a lot of experience through experiments with life, and most importantly, found a few good people. I have meditated a lot. In the end, I discovered the Law and the power of what can only be described as magic.
My personal definition of magic: The science and the art of changing reality in accordance with one's will, by means of technology advanced enough to be considered supernatural.
You see, the search for truth is not fundamentally spiritual but scientific. And boy, did I search.
Maybe you too do not wish for that sigma grindset billionaire lifestyle. Maybe you too don’t want to be a guru or a monk. Maybe you wish, as I do, just for peace, calm, and happiness. If that is so, then maybe I can show you a path through the Game of Life that is less traveled. And maybe that’s why there is so much magic in it.
I have combined the things that I’ve always been attracted to and studied ceaselessly. Magic of the western, occult, hermetic tradition. Self-help books that teach you how to really change yourself. Fantasy role-playing games with their skills, abilities, and leveling-up systems. And science, for I consider science the best path to uncovering truths about this strange world we live in.
I have spent approximately 3500 hours meditating over the last 16 years. I have talked to god. I have died and got better. I have access to all jhanas – the first four basically at any time and the formless ones with a little prep. I got stuck in a death loop. Spent some time in hell. I did a lot of psychedelics, and I won’t pretend it wasn’t good.
I reached the Nirodha Samapatti a year ago and then again a bit later. That apparently puts me on the third path at least – although I do not feel like it.
I have read over 1000 books at this point.
The law of manifestation is second nature for me now. And maybe I should keep silent about that.
I guess my experience of life is slightly different now - there are no points of awareness - reality feels like one complete field of experiences happening - the full spectrum of self-contained processes available all at once. Now is liquid - time is a label. I can slow it or accelerate it by controlling my awareness of it. Nothing superhuman, but useful nonetheless. I'm never bored.
There is no way I can get offended, there is inner self-confidence. I have experienced a truth as if I saw it with my own eyes. Once you saw red, no one can tell you red is green. I feel the process of the cosmos unfolding within me - I'm it and it is I. Suchness is awareness. Awareness is suchness.
"I" is a tool I use - a self-contained process. My mind is silent until I use it. When there is silence - there is peace. I can tune in a background bliss at any moment by focusing on it. Also, I bake awesome muffins, 100% vegan =)
I might have also skipped over that once you experience that you are part of everything firsthand, it never really goes away - it is as if you have seen a brand new color and then you can see it everywhere and in everything…
And I can teach all of this to you. Maybe I'm not the best teacher. Maybe I'm not even the teacher you wanted. But I can teach you and I'm right here, right now.